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Top 5 Most Traumatic Movies of My Childhood

10/31/2014

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I've already told you a little bit about the nightmares of my youth, as a result of Peter Pan and Ghostbusters, but in light of Halloween I've decided to share a little more. I've never really been one to watch horror movies, and because of that, I can't just make a list of my top 5 favorite horror films, since I've seen so few of them. I find that even in adulthood, I can be pretty easily disturbed. Naturally, everything is bigger and scarier when you're a kid, so this was even more of a issue way back when. Anyway, now I present to you, the top 5 most traumatic movies of my childhood! These 5 films pretty much ruined my life. Enjoy! :D

5.  The  Goonies

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The Goonies may be a beloved childhood adventure for many of you, but I don't think any of you would disagree that it's also really dark and creepy. As a child, I could never watch it. The scene with Sloth chained in front of the TV was far too terrifying and tense for me to handle. While it turns out that Sloth's a pretty cool guy, he's not so easy on the eyes. Especially when you're just a kid. The idea may be to not judge a book by its cover, but it doesn't help that his reveal scene feels like it's straight out of a horror movie.

As if that wasn't enough, then we have the diabolical, crazy old hag, Mama Fratelli. That chick has me scarred for life. I'm honestly unable to think of a single woman more frightening in any movie. The only one that I think of that comes close is Kathy Bates in Misery, and yet I feel like Mama Fratelli must have been an inspiration for the performance of her character. I'm not even going to add a picture of her because then I'd be further subjecting myself to psychological trauma, and "it ain't worth it, Riggs!"

Then we have her two creepy minions, played by Robert Davi and Joe Pantoliano. These two question Chuck in a brutal interrogation scene where they're trying to chop, shred, and frappe his fingers in the blender. How is this a kid's movie?!

I actually sat down and watched The Goonies in full for the first time about 2 years ago, and I think it completely justified my childhood reaction to the movie. This one is way too scary for kids, so I was right to steer clear of it growing up. Personally, I'm not the kind of person that believes in dumbing things down for children. Not everything has to be puppies and rainbows, but when your content is uncomfortably disturbing even to an adult, you might want to tone it down a bit, ya think?

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4.  Beetlejuice

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I've still never seen all of Beetlejuice. I'm almost a little disappointed in myself for that. These days, I'd probably love it, after all I enjoy most of Tim Burton's work. As a child, however, this movie was bizarre and creepy and horrifying. This selection shouldn't even need any sort of explanation for those of you who have actually seen it. You guys know what I'm talking about. It's crazy and full of all sorts of unusual and grotesque looking characters. The funny thing is I now remember those characters more vividly than anything related to the plot. Though that might have something to do with the fact that I've only seen bits and pieces of the movie.

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I imagine I looked something like Winona Ryder on the left here when I was introduced to Beetlejuice as a kid, with a look of horror and bewilderment shrieked across my face. I managed to mostly avoid the movie as a kid, but considering its twisted nature and fixation on death, it is by no means a kid's movie anyway. In fact, speaking of that, did you know that Beetlejuice is one of only four PG movies to ever use the F-word? Today it's become commonplace for PG-13 movies, which are allowed to use it once per film.

While I haven't seen much of Beetlejuice, I have been fortunate enough to have se
en the classic dinner table scene, which is just brilliant and wonderful in every way possible.  Now that I'm older,
I definitely need to add this one to my list of movies to watch.

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3.  Gremlins  2:  The  New  Batch

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My dad took me to see Gremlins 2 in theaters when I was in kindergarten. Probably not the best move by my dad, but I think I wanted to see it too. Considering that the movie stars this cute little guy named Gizmo, it's understandable why I may have wanted to see it as a child. He's a cute and cuddly looking little creature. Of course what I didn't know is that these adorable little guys, known as Mogwais, can inadvertently cause a whole lot of trouble if not properly cared for.  After about 30 minutes in the theater, I was crying and begging for my dad to take me home.

There are three rules to taking care of a Mogwai. Keep them out of the sun, don't let them get wet, and whatever you do, don't feed them after midnight. The sunlight harms them, getting wet causes them to spawn other Mogwai, and feeding them after midnight turns them into gremlins. There's a really scary and graphic scene where a group of Mogwai are slowly transforming into Gremlins and it scared the heck out of me. As I got a little older, I ended up watching the movie again and I really liked it. It's far more silly than scary, although it does have a few genuinely frightening moments. I'd probably appreciate it even more as an adult since it's crammed full of so many pop-culture references. I always hoped they'd make a 3rd film, but that ship has sailed.
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Handsome fellow, right? Yeah, the gremlins themselves were quite scary looking. Imagine seeing that in your dreams every night!

2.  Peter  Pan

I'm not going to go into too much detail on this one, since I already explained it in a recent blog post. This one is all about the Tick-Tock Croc from Peter Pan. I think what really gets me about the crocodile is the sound of his bite when he clamps his jaw shut. Something about it just haunts me. It's almost like nails on a chalkboard to me. As I said in my blog, I used to have a recurring nightmare of this crocodile bursting through my bedroom wall and trying to eat me. It seems a little odd for me to have been so traumatized by a character in a Disney film, but that's exactly what happened. I can't explain it myself. While the crocodile isn't nearly as horrifying as the #1 choice on the list, this long-running nightmare haunted me like no other.
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Before I get to my #1 spot on the list, I'd like to clarify why Ghostbusters didn't make the cut. As you likely read in my blog, Ghostbusters did indeed play a part in my childhood fears, but I feel that the five films I have chosen created a much stronger impact on my personal well-being. Ultimately, I went with Peter Pan over Ghostbusters because of the fact that it was always the crocodile entering my nightmares, rather than Slimer. Speaking of nightmares, the #1 most traumatic movie of my childhood is...

1.  A  Nightmare  on  Elm  Street

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Freddy Krueger scared the living bejesus out of me. There was never a movie character that terrified me in the way that he did. Just the mentioning of his name would fill me with fright. My dad and brother would often tease me about him, causing so much dread and agony. I remember my brother dressed up as Freddy for Halloween one year, and from then on he had the mask and glove to terrorize me with. I think my mom ended up making him get rid of it. Just seeing the glove would freak me out. Any association with Freddy was enough to make me run and scream. Looking back, I'm not really sure why that is. To this day I have still never seen any of his movies. Though that's not out of continued fear. Believe me, I've long been over it, but have just never really been interested.

I think my incredible fear of Freddy is largely a consequence of my dad jokingly teasing that he'd make me watch A Nightmare on Elm Street if I misbehaved. He never actually did it, of course, and surely just got a kick out of my reaction. Ha, I'm sure it worked quite well to keep me out of trouble. Heck, it's probably what shaped me into being the goody two-shoes that I still am today! Hahaha! I feel like I must seem severely emotionally damaged to you all now that I've shared this with you, but I swear I made it out of all of this just fine. Thanks for reading! It's pretty late now, so I guess I should probably get some sleep...
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...or not.
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Do you have any traumatic childhood movie experiences you'd like to share? I'd love to hear them! If so, please feel free to share them in the comments below! Thanks again for reading. I hope you had a wonderful Halloween!
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Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies of 2014

10/1/2014

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Before it gets any later into the year, I present to you my premiere Top 5 list with my most anticipated movies of 2014! Appropriately enough, as we approach this year’s half-way point, not a single one of my most sought after films has been released yet. These are all films I’m more than eager to see on opening night, and for some of them I’ve been waiting patiently for their release for years. Without further ado, here are my picks for my top 5 most anticipated movies of 2014:

5.  sin  City:  A  Dame  to  Kill  For

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The long awaited sequel to Sin City is finally almost here. To be honest, I would have expected a whole Sin City trilogy to have been completed years ago, but for whatever reason, it didn’t work out like that. Fortunately, the majority of the cast will still be returning for Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, which will be broken up into four non-consecutive segments. Frank Miller, the creator of the Sin City graphic novel and co-director of the first movie reunites with acclaimed director Robert Rodriguez for this sequel. Miller even created two original stories exclusively for the film.

Admittedly, I was surprised by how much I loved the original Sin City. It certainly didn’t appeal to me at first, but it won me over with its incredible style, its deep world, and its unforgettable characters. It was perfectly dark, grimy, and cool. It also had some great performances from its remarkable cast. Judging from the trailers, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For looks like it’s right on track with the first film. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m itching for the return of Marv and another long night in Basin City.

Release date: August 22


4.  The  Hobbit:  The  Battle  of  the  Five  Armies

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The Lord of the Rings saga is coming to an end with this final entry in The Hobbit trilogy. Once it’s all over and done with it, I’m sure many people will agree that Peter Jackson has helmed the greatest movie series of all time. It’s a claim that would be hard to argue against considering how well he has managed to command and combine these two incredible trilogies. For this final film, Jackson is drawing from the appendices of The Lord of the Rings trilogy to include The Battle of the Five Armies that occurs after the encounter with Smaug on The Lonely Mountain.

I’m definitely excited to see how it all ends and am glad they’re adding this epic final battle. While the first Hobbit film was met with some mild displeasure, I think both of the films so far have been fantastic. I feel that they've managed to beautifully capture the whimsical and adventurous style of The Hobbit book, which honestly I preferred reading over The Lord of the Rings. I certainly don’t expect this film to disappoint, although I hope it doesn’t have an overly long 30-minute ending like The Return of the King did. It will be a bittersweet day when The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies comes to theaters this winter, but even though the series is ending, I think we can all say we’re more than grateful for the experience.

Look for the first trailer to be released soon!

Release date: December 17


3.  The  Expendables  3

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Stallone’s gang of mercenaries are back for one last ride. In this third and final installment, The Expendables 3 matches up its legendary band of action stars against the craziest star around, Mel Gibson. In the film, Gibson plays Conrad Stonebanks, who co-founded The Expendables with Stallone’s Barney Ross, but the two of them went their separate ways and are now fighting on opposing sides. The film also adds Wesley Snipes, Ronda Rousey, and Stallone's Assassins' co-star Antonio Banderas.

Being the last film in the series, I think it’s safe to assume that the stakes will be higher and the action will be bigger, than ever before. Although it certainly won’t be bloodier than ever, since Stallone opted for a PG-13 rating to help with ticket sales. While some will find that move to be complete sacrilege, I understand the rationale behind the decision. The truth is that R-rated movies just don’t perform well at the box office. Plus you can still have plenty of great action and kills in a PG-13 film, you just can’t be so graphic about it. Though I will admit that considering it’s the last film, I do wish they would have kept it rated R. Especially with Mel Gibson in the picture, since so many of his movies are known for being incredibly violent. Regardless, I’m still totally pumped for this finale, and as a huge Mel Gibson fan, I’m hopeful that it can help get his career back on track.

Release date: August 15


2. Interstellar

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Christopher Nolan has a new film? One ticket, please! Interstellar is the latest movie from the guy who brought us The Dark Knight Trilogy, Inception, Insomnia, Memento, and The Prestige. Is it really even necessary for me to say more? I didn’t think so. I’ll see you at the movies!

Okay, okay, I’ll give a little context for those of you who don’t know what this one’s about. Interstellar is a science-fiction film that features a group of space explorers that attempt to travel through a traversable wormhole which would allow them to reach further into the universe than otherwise possible. It stars Academy Award winners Matthew McConaughey, Michael Caine, and Anne Hathaway, and also includes Academy Award nominees Jessica Chastain and Casey Affleck. Given Nolan’s superb track record, the film is sure to make a big splash at the box office.

I think Christopher Nolan has proven himself to be one of the best writers and directors in the industry. His brother Jonathan helped him write the screenplay for Interstellar, and the two of them are unquestionably an extraordinary writing duo. I expect Interstellar to be captivating, complex, and completely amazing.

Release date: November 7


1.  Dumb  and  Dumber  To

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Harry and Lloyd are back?? Well then! Let's put another ssshhrimp on the barbeey! In Dumb and Dumber To, Harry and Lloyd embark on another journey, but this time they're in search of Harry's daughter, who he never even knew existed until now. Set twenty years after the original, these two lovable boneheads are sure to cause plenty of hijinks and hilarity in their quest for Harry's long lost child.

I have been waiting for this film for TWENTY YEARS! Of course it's #1 on this list! Nothing else even comes close. When I was growing up, Dumb and Dumber was (and still is) one of my all-time favorite movies. I think it's safe to say that I've probably seen it more times than I've seen any other film in my life. I never thought a sequel would become a reality. After that atrocious attempt at a prequel, I'm so glad Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels agreed to saddle up one more time. After seeing the first trailer, I'm feeling really satisfied with the direction of the film. It looks like it's sticking within the same style of humor and still remaining respectful of the original. It has some pretty big, clown-sized shoes to fill, but it looks like it's up for the challenge and will bring a whole lot of laughs this November.

Release date: November 14

Agree or disagree with my choices? What films are you most anticipating? Share your opinion in the comment section below!
5 Minute Movie Guy
6.25.14
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