5 Minute Movie Guy
  • Home
  • News
  • Reviews
  • Features
    • The 2015 5MMG Awards
    • The 2014 5MMG Awards
    • Top 5 Lists
  • Blog
  • Contact

the 2014 5MMG Awards - Lamest Movie Romance

2/1/2015

Comments

 
This category is not directed towards the worst romance movie, but the worst on-screen romance featured in a movie this year. These are the love stories that make us want to cringe, gag, and vomit. They are the most laughable and pathetic attempts at depicting love and are almost completely unbearable. If this is what love is, take it away!

Lamest  Movie  Romance  Nominees:


Kili  and  Tauriel

as played by Aidan Turner and Evangeline Lilly in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
Picture
I could kind of believe the romance between these two in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, but by the time we get to The Battle of the Five Armies, it reaches the point of being absolutely dreadful. Could the dialogue here have possibly been any worse? This little love story disgraces Tolkien's work with brilliantly crafted lines like, "If this is love, I don't want it! Take it away! Please! Why does it hurt so much?" Ugggghhhhh.

Michaelangelo  and  April

as played by Noel Fisher and Megan Fox in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Picture
I suppose we could write this one off as a teenage crush more than a romance since the feeling isn't mutual, but it's so creepy and uncomfortable that it felt wrong not to include it. Michaelangelo has the hots for Megan Fox's April O'Neil and wants to let the world know about it. If he wasn't a giant mutant ninja turtle, maybe it wouldn't be so bad, but it ends up feeling completely unnecessary and quite embarrassing.

Mia  and  Adam

as played by Chloe Grace Moretz and Jamie Blackley in If I Stay
Picture
This movie is a perfect example of everything a romance shouldn't be. While If I Stay might try to make Mia and Adam look like a healthy, loving couple, the truth is they're so far from it. While some may be quick to dismiss that every couple has problems, Mia and Adam have an abundance. What's problematic about it is that the movie tries to portray their romance as a beautiful and desirable model of love. It's not.

Ava  Lord  and  Dwight

as played by Eva Green and Josh Brolin in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
Picture
The romance between Ava Lord and Dwight, or heck, Ava Lord and everyone for that matter, makes me want to pull out my hair. Yes, we get it. She's attractive and enjoys being naked. However, she's also a complete psychopath. Dwight knows this and has been screwed over by her before, but he keeps coming back for more. Their love affair is maddening and terrible and so hard to actually take seriously.

Shane  and  Tessa

as played by Jack Reynor and Nicola Peltz in Transformers: Age of Extinction
Picture
Let's all give a nice round of a applause to the touching and unforgettable romance between Mark Wahlberg's daughter and her stunt car driving boyfriend. Seriously, did anyone like anything about any of this? It was painfully dreadful and totally pointless. The film was pushing 3 hours. How about cutting out this bogus love story? Instead we have it continuously sprinkled in to annoy us throughout the movie. Thanks.

and  the  Winner  Is...

Picture

Kili  and  Tauriel
(The  Hobbit:  The  Battle  of  the  Five  Armies)
Lamest  Movie  Romance

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies turned out to be one epic, unexpected letdown and no element of it was worse than this God-awful romance between Kili and Tauriel. It wasn't even a prominent component of the film, but it was so bad that I'm sure it will be long remembered and ridiculed. It was a romance that never felt earned and it was cheesy beyond belief. It's almost unfathomable to me to think that there are adults (highly paid screenwriters, no less) who can write such pathetic dialogue. Kili and Tauriel's final scene together and its cringe-worthy aftermath were the final nail in the coffin for me. It emphasized just how bad the movie was as a whole, and how much it would forever tarnish what has otherwise been a phenomenal series. As a huge fan of The Lord of the Rings, as well as The Hobbit, this one really hurts. I think I now know exactly how Tauriel felt in the end.



Tell me what you think! Do you agree or disagree?


Vote for which love story you think is the
Lamest Movie Romance of the Year!



Share your own choices in the comments below!

Comments
comments powered by Disqus

    5  Minute
    Movie  Guy

    Here are the nominees and winners in the 1st annual 5MMG Awards!

    Archives

    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.