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The 2014 5MMG Awards - Favorite Movie Quote

2/2/2015

I love a good movie quote. Who doesn't? They can be a lot of fun to recite among friends. Sometimes just a few words can speak volumes. Although I find that good movie quotes can be pretty hard to come by. The best of them often become immortalized as pop culture lore. Time will tell if any of these nominations will still be quoted decades from now, but odds are you'll at least find me repeating a few of them for the coming months. Here are my top 5 favorites from 2014!

Favorite Movie Quote Nominees:

"We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars.
Now we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt."

-- Cooper as played by Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar

"We are Groot!"

-- Groot as played by Vin Diesel in Guardians of the Galaxy

"Motto panacaku! Motto panacaku! Hai? Hai? Hai?"

-- Christian F. "Bigfoot" Bjornsen as played by Josh Brolin in Inherent Vice

"I am in love with you. And I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed. And that one day all our labor will be returned to dust. And I know that the sun will swallow the only earth we will ever have. And I am in love with you.”

-- Augustus Waters as played by Ansel Elgort in The Fault in Our Stars

“When I think of my wife, I always think of the back of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brain, trying to get answers.”

-- Nick Dunne as played by Ben Affleck in Gone Girl

And the Winner Is...

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The 2014 5MMG Awards - Lamest Character

2/1/2015

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It's no coincidence that 4 of the 5 nominees in this category are in movies that are also in the running for 2014's Lamest Movie of the Year. These awful characters all played a large role in bringing down their respective movies, and I think they should be held responsible for it. In order to be eligible for this category, these characters had to be a major part of the movies they're in. Some of these actors are partially to blame for their terrible characters, but for the most part, I think the fault lies with the writers that created them or that brought them to the big screen.

Lamest Character Nominees:

Adam Wilde

as played by Jamie Blackley in If I Stay

If I Stay's not-so-dreamy love interest and rock star Adam Wilde is one of the worst things about the entire film. It's heinous that the film tries to portray this scumbag as being a desirable guy when he's mostly terrible to his girlfriend, Mia. He continuously corrupts her without showing much regard for her or her feelings. What's even more frustrating is that Mia still loves him unconditionally without any good reason.

Ford Brody

as played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Godzilla

If Ford Brody wasn't the main character of Godzilla, he'd be more forgivable. It's to his disadvantage that he's following in the footsteps of Bryan Cranston, who plays his short-lived father. The film's trailers center around Cranston, who gives an emotional and stirring performance, while the film itself revolves around Taylor-Johnson's dull and uninvested character Ford, who feels completely disengaged from the disaster.

Frankie Valli

as played by John Lloyd Young in Jersey Boys

Jersey Boys makes Frankie Valli look like a complete schmuck. However, I don't think John Lloyd Young is the one at fault for his moronic portrayal. Valli is the lead singer of The Four Seasons and the main character of the film, and yet he's reduced to being the nice guy with a unique voice who is taken advantage of over and over again. He's depicted as a foolish guy can't make a single good decision on his own.

Lucy	as played by Scarlett Johansson in *Lucy*

Before drugs turn Lucy into the most intelligent person who ever lived, she's a trashy, predictable party girl. She's turned into a drug mule, and when the drugs inside of her leak into her bloodsteam, her intelligence rapidly increases, giving her supernatural powers. As Lucy becomes smarter, we as an audience become dumber. Even with all of the intelligence in the world, Lucy herself is hardly even remotely interesting.

Thorin Oakenshield

as played by Richard Armitage in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The biggest problem with The Battle of the Five Armies is that it takes us away from Bilbo to focus on Thorin Oakenshield. While I enjoyed him as a smaller character in the previous films, he is not interesting enough to carry his own film. He's boring, predictable, and majorly lacking in complexity. The film is trying to stretch too much out of his character, turning him into a main protagonist that is hard to care about.

And the Winner is...

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the 2014 5MMG Awards - Lamest Movie Romance

2/1/2015

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This category is not directed towards the worst romance movie, but the worst on-screen romance featured in a movie this year. These are the love stories that make us want to cringe, gag, and vomit. They are the most laughable and pathetic attempts at depicting love and are almost completely unbearable. If this is what love is, take it away!

Lamest Movie Romance Nominees:

Kili and Tauriel

as played by Aidan Turner and Evangeline Lilly in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

I could kind of believe the romance between these two in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, but by the time we get to The Battle of the Five Armies, it reaches the point of being absolutely dreadful. Could the dialogue here have possibly been any worse? This little love story disgraces Tolkien's work with brilliantly crafted lines like, "If this is love, I don't want it! Take it away! Please! Why does it hurt so much?" Ugggghhhhh.

Michaelangelo and April

as played by Noel Fisher and Megan Fox in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I suppose we could write this one off as a teenage crush more than a romance since the feeling isn't mutual, but it's so creepy and uncomfortable that it felt wrong not to include it. Michaelangelo has the hots for Megan Fox's April O'Neil and wants to let the world know about it. If he wasn't a giant mutant ninja turtle, maybe it wouldn't be so bad, but it ends up feeling completely unnecessary and quite embarrassing.

Mia and Adam

as played by Chloe Grace Moretz and Jamie Blackley in If I Stay

This movie is a perfect example of everything a romance shouldn't be. While If I Stay might try to make Mia and Adam look like a healthy, loving couple, the truth is they're so far from it. While some may be quick to dismiss that every couple has problems, Mia and Adam have an abundance. What's problematic about it is that the movie tries to portray their romance as a beautiful and desirable model of love. It's not.

Ava Lord and Dwight

as played by Eva Green and Josh Brolin in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

The romance between Ava Lord and Dwight, or heck, Ava Lord and everyone for that matter, makes me want to pull out my hair. Yes, we get it. She's attractive and enjoys being naked. However, she's also a complete psychopath. Dwight knows this and has been screwed over by her before, but he keeps coming back for more. Their love affair is maddening and terrible and so hard to actually take seriously.

Shane and Tessa

as played by Jack Reynor and Nicola Peltz in Transformers: Age of Extinction

Let's all give a nice round of a applause to the touching and unforgettable romance between Mark Wahlberg's daughter and her stunt car driving boyfriend. Seriously, did anyone like anything about any of this? It was painfully dreadful and totally pointless. The film was pushing 3 hours. How about cutting out this bogus love story? Instead we have it continuously sprinkled in to annoy us throughout the movie. Thanks.

and the Winner Is...

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The 2014 5MMG Awards - Lamest Villain

2/1/2015

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A good villain is hard to find. Often times, so much attention is paid to the protagonist that the villain is left underdeveloped, serving merely as an obstacle along the hero's journey. The worst of them feel shoed-in and they're easily forgotten or removed from the equation entirely. While a bad villain won't usually ruin a movie, they certainly don't do anything to help it.

Lamest Villain Nominees:

Ronan the Accuser

as played by Lee Pace in Guardians of the Galaxy

Ronan the Accuser does have at least one good thing going for him, and that's his awesome appearance. On the down side, he serves mainly as a pawn of Thanos, the real villain we're waiting for Marvel to unleash. In the grand scheme of things, Ronan doesn't seem to be much of a threat, and it's hard to take him seriously. He's not memorable or even very intimidating. He's just another lackluster Marvel villain.

M.U.T.O.

as seen in Godzilla

M.U.T.O. (or Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism) is the code name given to the giant monsters that Godzilla battles in various locations on the globe in 2014's Godzilla. There's a male and a female M.U.T.O. and their goal is to mate, which Godzilla is not about to let happen. The main issue with M.U.T.O. is how derivative they are. These bland, generic monsters are unworthy of taking on the King.

The Wolf

as played by Johnny Depp in Into the Woods

I loved The Wolf in the Broadway version of Into the Woods, but his character is done all wrong here in Disney's film. His aggressive nature and appetite become incredibly inappropriate and uncomfortable now that the wolf is humanized in appearance. Considering that Johnny Depp is a master of transformative appearances, how come they just had him put on whiskers and a hat with ears for this role?

Ramses

as played by Joel Edgerton in Exodus: God and Kings

Joel Edgerton's Ramses is conflicted, but not particularly compelling. While we may at times feel sympathy toward his character, his actions clash harshly with any level of perceived good in his character. The Egyptian Pharoah Ramses succeeds in frustrating us with his foolishness, but all in all, he's mostly forgettable. He might as well have been lost in the Red Sea along with the rest of them.

mercedes

as played by Jillian Bell in 22 Jump Street

It's hard to believe that Mercedes could be the real threat in 22 Jump Street. She's the one responsible for distributing the drug WHY-PHY across her college campus, and this smart-mouthed, prissy knows how to pack a punch and use a gun. I, for one, am not buying it. What's even more troubling is that her dad, Ghost, is played by Peter Stormare, who should have been the real villain. Talk about a total waste of talent!

And the Winner Is...

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The 2014 5MMG Awards - Lamest Fight

2/1/2015

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The most frustrating thing about this category is that nearly all of these fights had the potential for greatness. They could have been contenders, but instead, they're all pretty bunk. Sometimes in movies the final showdowns are rushed, or they're escalated to intolerably ridiculous heights. It's always a shame when a movie builds up to a great fight and then it fails to deliver.

Lamest Fight Nominees:

Godzilla vs M.u.t.o.

in Godzilla

Godzilla battles two monsters throughout his latest film, culminating in what should be an epic three-way showdown. After teasing us throughout the film, we finally get to see the monsters duke it out in all their massive glory. Regrettably, the fight feels more comical than cool, and Godzilla makes short work of them both with his atomic breath, leaving us to wonder why he didn't just use it from the get-go.

Barney Ross vs Conrad Stonebanks

in The Expendables 3

Sylvester Stallone vs. Mel Gibson. Two of my Hollywood heroes battling it out to the death. I was so excited for this climactic battle in The Expendables 3 and it fell pretty far short of what I had hoped for. It ended far too quickly. By the time the two of them get to fight, Gibson's menacing Stonebanks is overshadowed by a greater threat, the explosives set to blow up the building, and Stallone's Ross quickly eliminates him.

Robert McCall vs Teddy

in The Equalizer

Throughout The Equalizer, Denzel Washington's character Robert McCall remains two steps ahead of everyone, with the exception of the film's excellent villain Teddy. While we don't know all that much about Teddy, he's a ruthless and intimidating presence that is made all the more compelling by his ability to impede McCall. I expected their face-off to be full-blown tactical warfare, but instead Teddy was just target practice.

Legolas vs Bolg

in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The Lord of the Rings trilogy had so many incredible, epic battles, but sadly, the final entry of The Hobbit wasn't able to capture that same level of intensity or excitement. The film's Battle of the Five Armies was dissatisfying, to say the least, with the worst part of it being the battle between Legolas and Bolg. It goes to great lengths to be try to be epic, but the end result is a fight that is laughably over-the-top and dumb.

Schmidt vs Mercedes

in 22 Jump Street

When the villain of 22 Jump Street is finally revealed to be Mercedes, the daughter of the drug dealer known as Ghost, she attacks Schmidt and the two of them engage in a fist fight. Despite Schmidt's initial reluctance to hit a girl, the two of them begin exchanging blows in a scene that is totally awkward and uncomfortable. It's made even more unsettling by Mercedes' sexual advances during the scene.

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The 2014 5MMG Awards - Lamest Movie of the Year

1/31/2015

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As far as I'm concerned, 2014 was a pretty great year for movies. However, not all movies can be good movies. Sometimes movies with a lot of potential end up being horribly disappointing. Sometimes they're doomed from the start. Of the 50 movies I saw in 2014, these five nominees are the bottom of the barrel. These films fell far short of my expectations, and are all pretty lousy in their own right. If you choose to watch any movie from 2014, do yourself a favor and make sure it's not one of these picks.

Lamest Movie of the Year Nominees:

If I Stay

After falling completely in love with The Fault in Our Stars, I wanted to see this movie. I thought it looked like another cute, heartfelt teen romance. Boy, was I wrong. Not only was it dull and stupid, but I found it to be offensive and amoral. With frustrating characters and a pitiful attempt at a love story, If I Stay is an excruciatingly painful experience that should be avoided. It gives love... a bad name!

Lucy

Directed by Luc Besson (Leon: The Professional, The Fifth Element) and starring Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman, this action movie looked like a winner. With it's intense and intriguing trailer, I was pumped to see it. It's too bad then that the trailer showed the only cool parts. The unfortunate end result is that Lucy might just be the single dumbest movie I have ever seen. I'm losing IQ points just thinking about it.

Jersey Boys

Directed by Clint Eastwood? Starring Christopher Walken? Sold. That's all it took to get me to walk into this death trap. Granted, I wasn't a particularly big fan of The Four Seasons when I went to see this movie, but now I have no respect for them or their music. Jersey Boys trashes their whole legacy and makes Frankie Valli look like an idiot. I can't imagine the Broadway musical was this bad, but I don't intend to find out.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Sin City: A Dame to Kill ranked as my 5th most anticipated movie of 2014. Needless to say, I certainly didn't see this one coming. What should have been an awesome, and stylish sequel ended up being a tiresome and droll return to Sin City. I'm still left scratching my head over how this visually stunning sequel with a star-studded cast could be so lifeless and boring. It may try really hard to be cool, but it's so far from it.

Godzilla

Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe I feel stiffed by the misleading trailer. Maybe I'm frustrated by the film's superhero portrayal of the legendary King of the Monsters. Whatever the reason may be, I think Godzilla fails on so many levels. It obscures the action. It teases us. It robs us of the film's only interesting character within minutes. Most of all, it never feels as big or epic as a Godzilla movie should be.

And the Winner Is...

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The 2014 5MMG Awards - Introduction

1/31/2015

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Hello everyone, and welcome to the first annual 5MMG Awards! I hope you're as excited as I am! These awards have been a long time in the making and I can't wait for you to see the results! Barring the weak box office revenue, 2014 has been a wonderful year for movies. I feel blessed to have started this journey with you when I did, as I got to see a whole lot of excellent movies that I know I otherwise would have mostly missed. During 2014, I saw a personal record breaking number of 50 movies in theaters! (My previous record was probably about 4, just to give you an idea). While 2015 is already off to a tremendous start with films like American Sniper, Selma, and A Most Violent Year, these awards are about taking the time to look back at my personal favorite and least favorite movies of the last year (which means you won't see any 2015 movies nominated here). Before we get this ceremony under way, I'm going to share with you a list of all of the eligible films that were seen and considered when creating these award categories and choosing their nominees. Here they are in alphabetical order:

22 Jump Street
A Million Ways to Die in the West
A Walk Among the Tombstones
Big Hero 6
Birdman
Blended
The Book of Life
The Boxtrolls
Boyhood
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
The Drop
Dumb and Dumber To
Earth to Echo
Edge of Tomorrow
The Equalizer
Exodus: Gods and Kings
The Expendables 3
The Fault in Our Stars
Forrest Gump
Fury
Ghostbusters
The Giver
Godzilla
Gone Girl

Guardians of the Galaxy
Hercules
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
The Hundred-Foot Journey
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1
How to Train Your Dragon 2
If I Stay
Inherent Vice
Interstellar
Into the Woods
Jersey Boys
John Wick
The Judge
Lucy
Maleficent
The Maze Runner
The Purge: Anarchy
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Theory of Everything
This Is Where I Leave You
Transformers: Age of Extinction
Unbroken
Wish I Was Here
X-Men: Days of Future Past

The 2014 5MMG Awards will be held over 5 days, with 5 different awards revealed each day from February 1 - February 5.

Please vote for your favorite nominees in the polls provided and leave comments sharing your own personal picks!

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Forward>>

Favorite Movie Quote Nominees:

Lamest Character Nominees:

Adam Wilde

Ford Brody

Frankie Valli

Lucy

Thorin Oakenshield

﻿And the Winner is...﻿

Lamest Movie Romance Nominees:

Kili and Tauriel

Michaelangelo and April

Mia and Adam

Ava Lord and Dwight

Shane and Tessa

Lamest Villain Nominees:

Ronan the Accuser

M.U.T.O.

The Wolf

Ramses

mercedes

Lamest Fight Nominees:

Godzilla vs M.u.t.o.

Barney Ross vs Conrad Stonebanks

Robert McCall vs Teddy

Legolas vs Bolg

Schmidt vs Mercedes

Lamest Movie of the Year Nominees:

If I Stay

Lucy

Jersey Boys

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Godzilla

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